Cat Jokes and Cat Humor


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Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong,
always try to make it look like the dog did it.







A tomcat was heard running up and down the
alley for hours. A neighbor called his owner and
asked what was happening. The owner said, "Well,
I had him fixed today, and he's going around
canceling all his engagements."


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The cat who doesn't act finicky soon loses control of his owner.

~ "Morris the Cat" ~


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Genesis Reworded

On the first day of creation, God created the cat....
On the second day, God created man to serve the cat....
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as
potential food for the cat....

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor
for the good of the cat....
On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might
or might not play with it....
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat
healthy and the man broke....
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to scoop the litterbox....

Yes, it's a cat's world after all. Amen!


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Questions that people have asked on a pet food companies 800 help line


My cat just came in from the garage and I was
wondering - how many calories are there in a mouse?

I have a neutered male cat. How old should he be
before I can breed him?

How can I keep my cat from stealing my husband's
toothbrush?

My cat passed a stool on the indoor rug and it's
stuck in the vacum cleaner. Any suggestions?

How do I stop my cat from giving food to the dog?

Do you know how to toilet train a cat?


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CAT e gories

CATegory - cat run over by steamroller

CAThedral - a church cat

CATaract - a cat with bad eyes

CATerpillar - a very fuzzy cat

CATalonia - a Spanish cat

CATapult - a flying cat

CATaclysm - a cat prone towards violence

CAThode - an electrically charged cat

CATholic - a religious cat

CATerwaul - a cat with a very loud cry

CATacomb - a cat that burrows underground


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"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."


"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have
never forgotten this."


"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled
through snow."


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Phooey On Dogs

I think that I shall never see
A dog as he's supposed to be;
A dog who since he was a pup
Has learned when he should just shut up.

I'm tired of hearing dogs just yap
And wake me when I take a nap.
Those boisterous creatures bark and growl,
Bay at the moon and screech and howl.

They never do a lick of work,
They run around like they're berserk.
They irritate like hordes of gnats.
I wish that dogs were more like cats.

For cats are quiet, sweet, demure
And known for being clean and pure.
But dogs are different, that's the truth
And, more than that, they're just uncouth.


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And God Created The Cat

It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was
discovered in the Dead Seal Scrolls.

And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked
with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome
here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you
that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love
for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me.

Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be,
this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you
as I do, in spite of yourself."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam.
And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged
his tail. And Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all the
animals in the Kingdom and all the good names are taken and
I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new
animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a
reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and
loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to
the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He
struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy
of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no
one has taught him humility."

And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion
who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The
companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know
that he is not worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat
would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes,
he was reminded that he was not the supreme being.
And Adam learned humility.

And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved.

And Cat did not care one way or the other.


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Some of Kitty's Favorite Christmas Carols


--1. Up on the Mousetop
--2. Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas
--3. Joy to the Curled
--4. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
--5. The First Meow
--6. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful
--7. Silent Mice
--8. Fluffy, the Snowman
--9. Jingle Balls
--10. Wreck the Halls

Please don't go looking for this CD in the stores!


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Cats Do What They Want

1) Cats do what they want.

2) They rarely listen to you.

3) They're totally unpredictable.

4) They whine when they are not happy.

5) When you want to play, they want to be alone.

6) When you want to be alone, they want to play.

7) They expect you to cater to their every whim.

8) They're moody.

9) They leave hair everywhere.

10) They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: They're tiny little women in cheap fur coats.


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Cat One Liners

What looks like half a cat?
The other half!

What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool?
She had mittens!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot?
A carrot!

How do cats eat spaghetti?
The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!

What is a French cat's favourite pudding?
Chocolate mousse!

What do cat actors say on stage?
Tabby or not tabby!

What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
I'm paw!

How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold?
He has cat-arrh!

How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
She's got that down in the mouth look!

What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out a night!


What do you do with a blue Burmese?
Try and cheer it up a bit!

What is the cat's favourite TV show?
The evening mews!

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs!

How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!

What noise does a cat make going down the highway?
Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!

What do you get if cross a cat with a canary?
Shredded tweet!

What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A catastrophe!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A cat-a-logue!

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
An octopuss!

Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!


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The Laws of Cat Physics


Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside
force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to
change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion
to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in
which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as
uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top
that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction
A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum
amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will,
therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and
take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot
in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible
nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the
amount of human laughter.

Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section
of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount
of milk consumed.

Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human
expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.


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I gave my cat a bath the other day ... they love it.
He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would
stick to my tongue, but other than that ..
--Steve Martin


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Signs Your Cat Owns You


At the store, you pick up the cat food and kitty litter before you pick
out anything for yourself.

You buy a video tape of fish swimming in an aquarium to entertain your cat.

The Christmas cards you send out feature your cat sitting on Santa's lap.

Your cat signs the card.

You accept dates only with those who have a cat.

If so, you eventually double-date with the cats to see how they get along.

You climb out of bed over the headboard or footboard, so you won't
disturb the sleeping cat.

You cook a special turkey for your cat on holidays.

You feed your cat tidbits from the table with your fork.

You give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas.

You spend more for your cat at Christmas than you do for your spouse.

You have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator.

You have pictures of your cat in your wallet.

You bring them out when your friends share pictures of their children.

You kiss your cat on the lips?

You microwave your cat's food.

You prepare your cat's food from scratch.

You put off making the bed until the cat gets up.

You scoop out the litter box after each use,

You wait at the box with the scoop in your hand.

You select your friends based on how well your cats like them.

You sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your
cats when you move.

You think it's cute when your cat swings on the drapes or licks the butter.

You watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote.

Your cat "insists" on a fancy Sunday breakfast consisting of an
omelette made from eggs, milk, and salmon, halibut, or trout.

Your cat eats out of cut crystal stemware because you both
watched the same commercial on television.

Your cat sits at the table (or ON the table) when you eat.

Your cat sleeps on your head.

You like it your cat sleeping on your head.

When people call to talk to you on the phone, you insist that they
say a few words to your cat as well,

When someone new comes to your house, you introduce your cat,
by name, to them.

You introduce your visitor (s) by name to your cat.

You stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while
your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?

You would rather spend a night at home with your cat than go
out on a bad date?


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Signs Your Cat Has Learned How To Use Your Computer

You get email flames from some guy named Fluffy."
Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip.
Your web browser has a new home page at CalicoScootz.com: .
Your mouse has teeth marks in it ... and a strange aroma of tuna.
Hate-mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of "CyberDog."
Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.
You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.
On ICQ, you're known as the IronMouser.
Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.


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Top 10 Signs Your Cat Is Overweight

1. Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens.
2. No longer cleans itself unless coated in Cheese Whiz.
3. Cat door so large it needs a garage door opener
4. Waits for the third bowl of food to get finicky.
5. Only catches mice that get trapped in its gravitational pull.
6. Enormous belly keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.
7. Has more chins than lives
8. Always lands on her spleen.
9. Fewer calls to the fire department, but a sudden upsurge in broken branches
10. Confused guests constantly mistaking her for beanbag chair.

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Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream.
            ~ T. S. Eliot ~


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Is Your Cat Normal?


To see if your cat has a problem, ask yourself the following
questions:

1. Does your cat sleep 22 hours a day, and spend the other two
hours in non-stop eating?

2. Does your cat take frequent naps in annoying places, such as
in the center of the dinner table, in the kitchen sink, or on top
of your freshly-cleaned-of-hair bedspread?

3. Is your cat selfish? Conceited? Arrogant? Aloof? Insensitive?

4. Does he wake you up in the middle of the night and refuse to
stop meowing until you accompany him to his food bowl to watch
him eat?

5. Does your cat tear down holiday decorations? Does he destroy
any stuffed toy or cat-sized household ornament which might be
misconstrued as his competition?

6. Does your cat perceive himself to be sole owner of all
property? Does he often show disdain for your taste, or act as if
you are an embarrassment to him?

If you answered 'yes' to most of these questions . . . relax,
your cat is normal!


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How To Give Kitty A Bath

Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats lick themselves clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort in their saliva that works like new, improved Wisk--dislodging the dirt where it hides and whisking it away.

I've spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most blind believers, I've been able to discount all the facts to the contrary - the kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that cling to the throw rug by the fireplace.

The time comes, however, when a person must face reality; when he must look squarely in the face of massive public sentiment to the contrary and announce: "This cat smells like a port-a-potty on a hot day in Juarez."

When that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I have some advice you might consider as you place your feline friend under you arm and head for the bathtub:

Know that although the cat has the advantages of quickness and utter disregard for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)

Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face mask and a long-sleeve flak jacket.

Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water.

Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule. If he does notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a product-testing experiment for J.C. Penney.)

Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to your survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Cats have no handles.

Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more that two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record is--for cats--three latherings, so don't expect too much.)

Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared to what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.

Do *NOT* try to use a blow dryer. You might as well use a vacuum cleaner.

In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psycho-ceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.

You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But, at least now he smells a lot better.

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Top 16 Signs Your Cat Is Plotting World Domination

16. Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully
reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day.

15. Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day.

14. Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of
Poland.

13. When you enter the room, Snowball and the other members of
the Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing
with yarn.

12. Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets,
and nine suicide bombs.

11. What you thought was "heat" is actually a four-legged goose
step.

10. Well, "somebody" subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination.

 9. Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals "tattoo"
to be blueprint of the UN Building.

 8. Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap.

 7. Kitty Chow spilled on the floor spells out "Drop the car keys
and leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head."

 6. Then -- dead mice in the kitchen. Now -- dead third world
dictators in the basement.

 5. Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some
kind of "land mine" technology.

 4. Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23.

 3. Has recently been acting somewhat... aloof.

 2. What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes
up for with his ruthless handling of rival software companies.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat is Plotting World Domination...

1. Somehow, you're now subscribed to "Feline of Fortune" magazine.

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A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night. The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred... "I'll die for you!" The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked, "How many times?"

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Top 10 Things A Cat Thinks About

10. I could have sworn I heard a can opener.

9. Is there something I'm not getting when humans make noise
with their mouths?

8. Why doesn't the government do something about dogs?

7. I wonder if Morris really like 9-lives, or did he have
ULTERIOR motives?

6. Hmmmm ... If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why
can't we ever get those STUPID dogs to do anything for us?

5. This looks like a good spot for a nap.

4. Hey - no kidding, I'm sure that's the can opener.

3. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of
their own if we cats hadn't given them a reason to invent sofas and
can openers in the first place.

2. If there's a God, how can He allow neutering?

1. If that really was the can opener, I'll play finicky just to let
THEM know who's boss!!

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How to Give A Cat A Pill

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from yard.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for Humane Society to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

 

How to Give a DOG a pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rules For Cats To Live By

BATHROOMS:
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.

DOORS:
Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.

CHAIRS AND RUGS:
If you have to throw up, get to a chair or bed quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, any quality carpeting is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a human's bare foot.

HAMPERING:
If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping," otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering:"

1) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.

2) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.

3) For paperwork, lie on the paper in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work as possible. Or pretend to doze, but occasionally reach out and slap the pencil or pen.

4) For people paying bills or working on income taxes or Christmas cards, keep in mind the aim: to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. When being removed for the second time, make all four legs flail around wildly in order to push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table.

5) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. Humans love surprises.

6) When a human is working at the computer, jump up on the desk, walk across the keyboard, bat at the mouse pointer on the screen and then lay in the human's lap across arms if possible to hamper typing in progress.

WALKING:
As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

BEDTIME:
Always sleep on the human at night so he/she doesn't move around too much.

LITTER BOX:
When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.

HIDING:
Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.

ONE LAST THOUGHT:
Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, then turn around, and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often. And don't forget guests.

Alfred Says:

You know that cats are carnivores, meaning they are meat eaters.
They don't have the ability to manufacture proteins in their liver
as dogs and humans do, thus they have to get their proteins from food.

Complete proteins come from meat sources. Incomplete proteins come
from grains. Incomplete proteins do not have all the amino acids
present required to form what we call a complete protein.


Also you will want to consider the presence of harsh chemical preservatives
that are in some foods, such as BHA, BHT, and ethoxyquin. All have been
proven to play a role in various degenerative diseases such as kidney
and liver disease, and cancer.


Now, what do you believe would be better for your precious Kitty, a food
that has a cancer causing agent, or a food that has all natural
preservatives?


Our suggestion then is to look for a kitten or cat food that has at
least 2 to 3 meat sources of proteins to every one grain source.

And to look for a food that has all natural preservatives instead of toxic
chemicals.


Our recommended dining experience for cats and kittens is:

Life's Abundance Premium Health Food For Cats



It is a 100% complete and balanced formula that is safe for your kitten,
and will supply your kitten with the nutrients it needs.


     Check out Alfred's Favorite Feline Dining Experience Here





100% Money Back Guarantee if not satisfied
(minus shipping & tax)


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